you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
