69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize