Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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