He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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