I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so much tequila, so little girl.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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