Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
