I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize