Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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