You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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