i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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