Don't you send me to vm
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
