We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i think i just lost a toe
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
