Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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