it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
