I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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