she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
