A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
