it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
