Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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