It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He is an equal opportunity slut.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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