I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
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