I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
