and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
