I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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