I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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