Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
