Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's shark week go big or go home
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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