Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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