dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
