She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
