How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize