The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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