but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
