fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
