You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
