idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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