your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
