I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
