We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
