u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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