Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
