i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
