spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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