Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That accounts for only three of the penises
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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