Me. At least after what I've been through.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize