What did we do last night that was yellow?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
