after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize