As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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