that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
