is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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