Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
