doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
