In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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