And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
