booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
