With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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