You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
