She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
