the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
