Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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