This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
