Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
