This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
