good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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