I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
